


A Misunderstanding

by Anonymous6285



Series: *pride* [8]
Category: The Beatles (Band)
Genre: Coming Out, Desire, Drunkenness, M/M, Other, Rejection, Secrets, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 05:01:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26966374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonymous6285/pseuds/Anonymous6285
Summary: John has to tell Brian something because he thinks it might really affect his reputation. Brian doesn't handle it quite the right way.
Relationships: Brian Epstein & John Lennon, Brian Epstein/John Lennon
Series: *pride* [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1967863
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	A Misunderstanding

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Coming Out Day :)
> 
> a little late but still

John sat on Brian’s bed with his arms crossed over his chest as the rest of his friends left the room. The manager gave him a disapproving look when he realised the man wasn’t about to leave.

“John, w-why are you still here?” The guitarist didn’t say anything, only shifted on the bed uncomfortably. He’d shown up to the hotel late the previous night, and all day he’d been in the worst mood they’d ever seen. “Lennon…”

“Are you still mad at me?” He was trying his very best to sound confident in his own words, but the older man wasn’t having any of it.

“John, what’s going on?”

“Are you?” John repeated, not about to let it slide that Brian had ignored the question.

“I mean, you had Paul and I both worried sick last night. You weren’t back until four in the morning, and you haven’t even told us where you were.” John’s eye contact didn’t break, because Brian still hadn’t answered. “I’m not mad. I’m really just concerned that something might be wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong,” the younger man assured quickly, mostly for himself, like he didn’t believe the words he said. But as Brian continued to stare at him knowingly, he broke. “I was with somebody, okay?” he sputtered out. “I know I shouldn’t have been--” He stopped talking when he saw Brian grinning. Of course, his manager knew he’d been with plenty of women despite his family.

“Why are you so freaked out about this?” Brian sat down on the bed next to John and leaned on his shoulder. “John?”

“I lost my virginity.” John froze when he heard a giggle, and he turned his head to see a smile played across the other man’s face. “W-what’s so funny?”

“You have a child,” Brian laughed. “And you’re saying you lost your virginity last night.”

John groaned. “No!” Then, he buried his face in his hands. “No, not like that! I just… nevermind.” The manager said nothing, but as the hidden face became more and more red, John started to cry.

“Oh, god, John… John, please just tell me what’s going on. You know that I’m worried, right?”

“Yes, I f-fucking know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you and Paul to really care that much about it.” He felt a head on his shoulder, and suddenly, a wave of courage washed over him. “Can I tell you something?”

“Anything.”

“I bottomed… last night, I was the bottom, and I’ve never… done that before.”

“Oh, my god…” Brian pulled away from him. “That’s… look, that’s great, John, but I don’t need to know about your sex life, yeah?” John shrugged, a tear rolling down his face and neck and soaking into the collar of his shirt. “Hey, I don’t mean to be rude or anything. I just think that’s a really personal thing, you know?”

“Yeah, you’re right…” He kept his gaze focused on the ground. “It’s just… you’re queer, and I don’t know who else to tell, but… I was with a guy.” It went completely silent in the room for what felt like forever until John looked over at Brian, whose eyes were wide.

“John… that’s okay. That’s perfectly fine, yeah? We just can’t tell… we can’t really bring that to the public. It’s still a felony--”

“I know,” John whispered. 

“Well, erm, I’m glad you decided to tell me. I mean, that takes a lot. I’d know.” He laughed breathily and nervously.

“You think I would have told you if I didn’t have to?” John snapped, suddenly more defensive than he’d been the last few seconds. “He fucking… things didn’t go well between us, okay? And he said he was going to out me, and I know that y-you s-s-said at some point th-that I should t-tell you if there was anything that m-might be important for you to know.” Brian stood up from the bed. “Could you say something please?”

As the guitarist’s anger seemed to melt into worry, Brian shrugged. “I don’t… who was it? Did he give you a name?”

“I don’t… I don’t know.”

“John, this is serious! Could you try to remember?!” The pressure being put on John surely wasn’t helping the situation, and he shook his head slowly, more tears spilling out over his cheeks. His eyes were burning in shame. “God, why would you… you just slept with some random bloke and you didn’t think it’d be important to get his na--”

“I was drunk!! I’m sure you’ve slept with quite a few random blokes when you were drunk!”

“I’m not a Beatle, John. And the world already knows that I’m gay!”

“You think that I even had that on my mind?! I was drunk and horny! It’s not my fault! Look, I came to you because I thought that you could help me. I didn’t come so that you could lecture me about being more responsible.” He got up off of the bed, and stormed out of the room.

“Oh, god, John… come back.” He chased John down the hotel hall until the younger man stopped. “John, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean… I’m just worried that only bad can come from all of this.”

“I know that, fuck… I know.” He huffed.

“John, I don’t have a problem with you being with blokes. I just want you to know that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.”

“You didn’t,” he interrupted. “I know it’s okay. I mean, you do it.”

Brian could tell he was just saying words to himself in an attempt to feel better about the situation. “Look, I’m just trying to say that if you’re going to… just find somebody you can trust, okay? If anything happens, I’ll take care of it, but… you just need somebody you know won’t tell a soul, okay?”

John looked down at the ground nervously. “Eppy…?” The older man hummed in response, and John lifted his head slowly. The eye contact that followed lasted only a second until John smashed his lips into Brian’s. They both gasped as the guitarist pushed him up against the wall and shoved his knee up into Brian’s crotch.

“Shit. John…” He couldn’t deny the way he was starting to get hard, but for fuck’s sake, this was John. This was the man he’d known since he was just a kid. Was it really okay to be doing this?

“God, I wanna--”

Somebody cleared their throat behind John, and the two broke apart. Brian glanced around John when the other man just closed his eyes. He already knew exactly who was standing there, and he didn’t need to turn his head to know that the bassist was standing in a hunched position, eyes cast down to avoid making any kind of eye contact.

Though it was useless. He’d seen it, and they all knew that.

“Paul,” Brian started nervously, and John backed away from him. “I was just telling John goodnight.” He nodded at John and leaned into his ear. “John, we can’t do this. You know that.” Paul had turned to walk back the other way, and John just huffed.

“I’m so sorry. I thought you meant… fuck, I’m so sorry.” He blushed.

“John, it’s alright. I just don’t… I don’t want that.” John nodded.

“Of course. I’ll leave you be, then. Goodnight, Brian.” John lowered his head and turned the other way. And as much as Brian wanted to say something to make him feel better, he couldn’t find it in himself to open up his mouth at all.


End file.
